Happy Halloween!

31 10 2014

It’s a rainy Halloween here today.

I am starting a CBT 10 week course at mental health next week, if I finish that, there might be a chance to the DBT group, so I am going to do the course and hope for the best.

Australian, English, Irish or New Zealand accent needed

25 10 2014

It’s been a very stressful job search, and it’s even more stressful having to compete with visitors on working holiday visa’s for jobs. Its a resort region and the bulk of employers prefer to hire temp workers on a working holiday visa and overlook locals.

I figure if I had an accent and could pretend to be from elsewhere, maybe I’d actually get interviews.

I wish I had friends and insomnia

23 10 2014

I figure if by 35, I have not figured out how to make friends and meet people, I probably wont. I know so few people, and those I do know are not close for the most part, and we rarely speak if ever speak online, and none are a part of my life where you’d call one another, more like people I used to know but who are still on FB.

I have also had nasty insomnia and pretty much sit on bed on the computer because I can’t sleep.

I am not going to lie, despite good things happening in my life, I have been really down and quite depressed the last few weeks.

18 Months

23 10 2014

Originally posted on Pride in Madness:

That’s how long the wait list is at the Brief Psychotherapy Centre for Women in Toronto. 18 months. I was not expecting that. Ouch. I guess that’s another option out.

When we need help we need it now. It might not be a crisis but why would any of us want to live with certain problems that much longer?

Oh the Ontario mental health system.

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Lack of jobs

22 10 2014

There is an extreme lack of jobs. It’s been impossible to even get an interview, I apply for jobs over and over, but nobody calls.

It’s very frustrating as disability has ended until the end of February (they only exempt a certain amount of household income, and one you reach that they deduct dollar for dollar from disability) because my partner has a job and they will now deduct what she makes each month dollar for dollar from disability, which means about a 40% decrease in our income until the end of February.

It’s just near impossible to find a job. It’s a small town and opportunities for a job are limited to begin with and trying to find one that works with my mental health issues is even harder.

Worth watching this video mental illness.

21 10 2014

Apparently 46% of Canadians say they wont associate with someone with mental illness. I know this all too well, it’s been impossible to find and make friends, I can’t hide the illness, and if I tell people or they find out, they no longer want to be friends.

It’s shameful how we are treated sometimes.

I am at a loss as to the job difficulty.

17 10 2014

Despite redoing my resume again, I am getting no calls for interviews. I am not sure what else I can possibly do to the resume to get it to be effective in getting me a job.

It’s even more frustrating when the companies I have applied to re-post the position over and over and still I am apparently not good enough. I do re-apply when I see the ads, but it never results in an interview.

We are just getting a bit more desperate as this will be the last month we get full disability until the end of February as we have reached the income exemption for the year, so anything my partner earns is deducted dollar for dollar now from disability.

I am literally out of idea’s when it comes to job searching.

I don't want to exist. I want to live.

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