I am not working at the moment, quit my job a few day’s ago, I have been having a breakdown in my mental health due to the stress the job created as well as the fatigue, and I was leading my path back into the hospital at a quick rate, so had to get rid of the stress before it got to the point of hospitalization.
My shifts were 10 hours + commute + getting ready in the morning + preparing for the next day before bed, and I was up 15-16 hours, leaving only 7-8 for sleep, which for me isn’t sufficient, and found myself and struggling to stay awake while driving, and basically was just a zombie, was a really bad combination.
I know dealing with the stressor in a more constructive way should be what I do, but I am not at that stage in my recovery and only way to deal with the stressor is to stay away from it, which in this case was the job. I can’t be doing something like a job that is triggering my symptoms like crazy and creating so much stress that suicide would be in my mind as an option.
I am doing better now, the day I quit felt like 2 tons of weight was taken off my shoulders.
I hope in the future, I will be further along in treatment so I can learn more productive ways of dealing so I can maintain stable employment with out losing jobs so frequently, it’s amazing how many jobs I have had in my lifetime.
Got my taxes done, 2014 was saw more income then the year prior, but still only 12,000 so not a lot really.
Mental Health called last week and they are planning (hasn’t been confirmed) to start a short DBT group course in the coming weeks, would be 2 hours a week for about 6 weeks, so 12 hours in total.
Not sure how much one can learn and improve in that time frame, but it is atleast something and may get me the fundamentals I need to do it on my own after that. Too early to tell yet, and still don’t when it will be confirmed.