Money may not buy happiness, but it certainly does help.

12 05 2015

Money may not buy happiness, but I can almost guarantee if I had enough income to get the things I dream about in life, chances are pretty high, I would be happier overall.

If I could have a small house, with a garden, a small pond and aquarium, and of course a garage for some model trains, and the ability to travel, I would in all honestly be happier.

A good portion of my depression comes from not being able to do anything in life that I enjoy doing and that brings me happiness.

Money may not buy happiness,but it certainly gives you access to the things that bring people happiness.

History was made in Alberta today.

6 05 2015

If not in Canada, you likely don’t care, but Alberta made history today, after 40 some years of consecutive conservative government’s they went about the polar opposite and voted in an NDP government.

I say good for them for thinking outside the box and willing to bring in change and take a risk.

As some will say, did hell freeze over and are pigs flying, because most in Canada probably didn’t think they would see an NDP government in Alberta.

Another brick wall.

3 05 2015

Just when I think I have a plan, and start to feel better about things, bam the brick wall comes up and blocks me.

I was planning to start upgrading to get into psychiatric nursing program, however after checking into it, it’s very unlikely I can even get into the program.

It used to be first come, first seated where if you met all the requirements you were wait listed and eventually would get in.

Now it’s competitive point based, and I just cannot physically get the points needed with my education level. The bulk of the points (8) are for education, I can get a max of (1).

I can get a max of 9/20 points which isn’t sufficient to get into the program.

You basically get the max for education points which is a bachelors degree.

I have a friend who is a psych nurse and her brother is trying to get into the program, he was turned down for the last in take because he didn’t have enough points, and he has a Bachelors degree.

I can take every point eligible class and every point for volunteer experience, and I still fall short.

Now I know some will say, well go get a bachelors degree first, and i would love to if it were an option.

It’s not an option for several important reasons.

1. Lack of resources and money to spend over 8 years as a student. (4 years for bachelors, then 4 years for nursing which leads to another bachelors.)

2. I am not academically inclined, so a pure academic program is setting me up for failure and will put me into debt, with nothing to show for it.

I just finished paying off 10k in student loans, and I have nothing to show for it. No better education, no degree, nothing. Total waste of 10k.

I just wan’t a nice job, with a decent pay, so I can have the life I want. I just don’t have the resources or time to play the education game they do now.

I hate living.

19 04 2015

I hate life and the lack of ability to have one. This world isn’t for those who lack money and high earning capacity. You cannot be happy poor. I have been poor my entire adult life and I have never truly been happy. I am exhausted from always worrying about money, where the next bill will come from, how to pay rent, how to pay for food, it never ends. There is never enough money to pay everything, something always has to be skipped each month. Its a never ending cycle and there is no way out.

I have tried to succeed and get the income I need but its never worked out.

How sad is it that full-time at my wage after taxes is not even enough to rent an apartment in this area any more, and I am supposed to be happy?

I work for nothing, no benefit, every single penny earned goes out the window to someone else, nothing to save, nothing left to do anything fun, nothing left.

There is no way to break the cycle, once in it, there is no way out. The only option is to be born into a situation where your not in the cycle, otherwise your just a slave to the wealthy, paid peanuts so they can make more and more and have more and more while you have less and less.

I forget

15 04 2015

What is even feels like to be happy. I am in a cloud of grey 24/7/365 and only getting thicker and thicker as time passes. I feel no real enjoyment anymore.

What do people do when…….

12 04 2015

They can no longer afford rent? I am getting really concerned that rent for a small 1 bedroom/1bath in this area are now running in the 1,300 to 1,500 range.

Omg we would be homeless if we ever have to leave the place we are now.

I wonder……

9 04 2015

If your meant to be something specific in life and when that specific thing no longer exists if its possible to be happy?

I am talking about work, I have not been happy and content in any job I have had since 2003. My longest stint at any job since then was 10 or 11 months.

My first job I enjoyed and was content in, and I spent 2 almost 3 years there, before moving onto the airline industry in 1998 where I stayed until 2004, and then again in 2008,

Those years at the airline, I was content in life, happy, and enjoyed my job, I enjoyed it so much I would on a regular basis spend 16 hours working because well it wasn’t work to me, I enjoyed the work, the people I worked with, and I would rather be at work then bored at home…lol

I do sometimes wonder if my inability to keep jobs and be content is because I am meant to be in certain types of jobs and the jobs I can get are not compatible to my personality.

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