Start DBT next week.

29 07 2015

I start DBT group next week, it will run weekly (unless its a holiday) for roughly 26 weeks, I will also see a therapist for individual therapy every other week, I can’t afford to do both weekly, and group has to be weekly, so only option is to see the therapist every other week…lol

Not sure what to expect fully, but I am looking forward to it, and I hope I can continue to the end (finances are tight right now) as I think it will help me a great deal and get me the skills and education that I need to cope better, and feel better.


28 07 2015

Biggest downside to being poor, you have such a limited choice for housing, and they are almost never the nicest places.

It would be nice to be able to live in a nice, modern apartment.

Chronic pain

23 07 2015

I am not that old at 36, but man do I feel old, not mentally but physically. I have chronic pain now in various parts of my body that have become a bit of a burden in the last 2 years, went from just being annoying, to preventing me from doing things and certain jobs because the pain become so severe now.

OTC pain meds do nothing, so I stopped taking them and I don’t want to add prescription pain killers to the mix, so for now, I just deal with it, and try and forget it about as much as I can, the doctors don’t really know what is causing the pain, its mostly in my knees, wrists, back, and elbows, the blood work they have done doesn’t show whatever it is to determine if it’s arthritis, but apparently not all forms will show up anyhow, and so far the doctors haven’t gone any deeper, they don’t seem to really know or whatever, maybe they just don’t care?

I just know the pain in a pain and annoying, and probably contributes to fatigue that I have.


21 07 2015

The assessment went okay, the lady doing it was friendly and easy to talk to, lots of questions lasted about 3 hours. 2 of 3 things she came back with were not surprise.

1) Its highly likely I am Borderline, no surprise there.

2) Highly likely I have severe episodes of depression, again no surprise.

3) Was something new, I likely also have moderate¬†Agoraphobia which after reading about it, sounds about right, I just didn’t know it had a name, and always chalked it up to generalized anxiety.

I start individual therapy next week, they recommend 4 times a month, however we can’t do that, so I am going to aim for 1 to 2 times a month, cost is 120 for each one, so we have to do what we can afford.

Group I am on the wait list for, so not sure yet when group will start, its 96 dollars 4 times a month, the group you have to do all 4 sessions per month, no flexibility there.

Would be nice if healthcare covered it, but they don’t, so we just have to try and do our best to come up with the money each week.

Assessment on Tuesday & Education 2 posts in one!

20 07 2015

I have my DBT assessment on Tuesday, I hate that I have to pay for one again, had one done in California 2 years ago, and I wish they could just use the result of that one to determine if I am a fit for their program, but not able to so life is life, just would save almost 400 dollars…lol

I’ve had so many in the past, not really nervous, pretty sure they will ask the usual questions, takes 90 minutes. Can’t afford a PhD level so seeing a Masters level psychologist, I am sure just as good, so not worried about that.

Results take about 10 days to get, so won’t know what they think for a week and some change.


I really think education beyond grade 12 needs to be accessible to all, my idea is since free to everyone would not be financially viable in North America and likely the population would not tolerate higher taxes for everyone to go for free, my idea is having a tiered tuition system based on income.

Under X amount, you get 100% subsidy

X amount to X amount 90% subsidy and so on and so on until you get to higher incomes and then it would be no subsidy.

Thats a simplistic idea, would need fine tuning and such but would be better then this current system that keeps people out of purely on lack of funds/resources to pay.

I know exactly what I wan’t to do, just cannot afford the tuition, and the government say’s no more loans until I pay for 2 semesters full time without any financial help, clearly no an option as if I had the money, I would not have applied for a loan in the first place.

We can’t survive.

8 07 2015

Without me working we are 900 in the hole, rent kills us, we cannot financially afford this apartment and we pay below market rent and with a 0% vacancy rate, there is nothing to downside to so we can save money. They don’t allow roommates here nd the unit are technically 1 bed with a den, so no room to rent out and so no way to split the rent.

I seriously need a career that pays well, but the government won’t assist me financial aid wise, we can’t cover out bills, let alone pay for tuition, life is just messed up and I can’t handle this level of stress.

What does one do?

Financial aid letter, part of it with personal info removed.

7 07 2015

The rehabilitation requirement is impossible for us to meet, there is no way on this planet we can afford to pay tuition, and books and fees out of pocket for 1 entire academic year, financially it is impossible to do, and because of that school is out of the option as well, which means very little chance at ever having a career. I literally have no employable skills and I’d rather not work then working a negative for my health jobs. I need a positive healthy career that matches who I am. I will not suceed otherwise.

i saw an ad for a janitor today, and even extra school and training is needed, no longer a job you can do just with grade 12. If you have grade 12 it means no career, low income, and high stress life.

Every good paying job requires school.

Under Section 12(1) (a) of the Canada Student Financial Assistance Act, you are required to ‘attain a satisfactory scholastic standard’ to be eligible for assistance.

If you have withdrawn on two separate occasions or you have failed to successfully complete 68 weeks of funded full-time post-secondary studies, you fail to meet this provision of the act and you become ineligible for assistance through StudentAid BC.

A review of your scholastic standing while receiving student financial assistance indicates that you have withdrawn on two occasions or have failed to successfully complete 68 weeks of funded post-secondary study.

By policy, this disqualifies you from further funding and a restriction has been placed on your file.

To be considered for rehabilitation of your StudentAid BC eligibility you must successfully complete at least 60 per cent of a full-time course load (40 per cent for students with permanent disabilities as approved by StudentAid BC) of post-secondary study for two semesters or one academic year without assistance through StudentAid BC.

You will be required to submit a transcript of marks issued by your school to support your claim. Although you are not eligible for funding, you may apply to continue, or rehabilitate, your interest-free status whenever you are enrolled in at least 60 per cent of a full-time course load of post-secondary study (40 per cent for students with permanent disabilities, who have been approved by StudentAid BC to study at the reduced course load) by submitting an interest free application to the financial aid office at your school.

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