When it comes to health and health issues the double standards in this world is nothing but 100% discrimination.
If someone has a physical health issue, nobody say’s well go and figure out how to fix it yourself but have a mental disability and suddenly you are expected 100% to fix yourself on your own with no help or guidance.
Oh the self help books are good, but they do not replace professional counseling and help and they are a supplement to professional counseling, not a replacement for it.
Oddly for whatever reason the worst people it seems to talk to are those who have had access to professional help and have overcome some of their issues and formed a good life, for having gone through the experience and then to be so nasty to someone who has no professional help with their mental health issues trying to work through the world with no guidance.
I do my best with what I have, and I am overwhelmed and trying to do more then I am personally capable of, I know my limits, I know what I can and cannot do, telling me things like “only you can fix your issues” or “just find a solution” are not helpful and in fact to the opposite and bring me down even further.
I am not capable at this juncture to hold a long term full-time job, I wish I was, I’d actually rather work. I have hurdles to overcome and sometimes people need help, assistance, and guidance to overcome those hurdles. I don’t expect anyone to fix me, I just need guidance and assistance to overcome the hurdles that keep me down.
Trying to undo 36 years of issues along, is no easy task, even with help it’s no easy take, but with help there is guidance and direction where not I am nothing more then a lost ship at sea with no idea which direction to go to find land.
Yes, I am doing what I can with what resources I have access to, unfortunately those resources are in great demand so the waits to access them are very long, and not really suited to personality disorders since the primary treatment is medication as medication is pretty much all psychiatrists do, but psychiatrists are covered my medical services, psychologists and counselors are not, so gotta accept what you can access. Who know’s maybe being medicated up will keep me numb enough to not feel emotional pain.
The psychiatrist appointment is in early fall, so not horribly far anymore, a little over a month, total wait from booking appointment will be about 3 months.
The psychologist I saw at the DBT place agreed with the previous 2 psychiatrists who said I am borderline, and added in Agoraphobia which does also explain things I that I wasn’t sure about.
I did do everything in my power to attend the DBT group program and counseling with the psychologist, however if the money isn’t there it isn’t there. If I work it takes away disability, so we are no further ahead financially, and I’d need to make like 20/hr to make enough to cover what we need for living + enough left over for the program.
I even went as far as trying one of those fundraising websites…lol…. yeah I was desperate, but it wasn’t meant to be, so for now, all I can do is try my best within my capabilities, I just don’t think that will bring me to the point I want to be in life, but suppose it’s better then nothing.
As a side note, I understand why we have a capital mostly free market system, but at the same time those of us at the bottom of the free market don’t exactly benefit from it and suffer under a free market system, but I guess that is what a free market system desires, the suffering of some for the rest can have a comfortable life.
It’s just sickening sometimes when people complain about being poor, and they turn out to be making 5,000 a month, to me that is not wealthy, but is not in anyway poor, that is nearly 1/2 year wage when I was working, but nothing is going to change, we are a free market society, and I am in the bottom of that society, so I need to learn how to better accept being at the bottom.