Time to go

10 09 2015

I am going back into my cave and out of sight. I am done sharing, writing, and going back to never telling a soul I have mental health issues, the stigma is there in full force and not worth trying to get people to understand mental illness, people don’t want to and that won’t anytime change.

So this blog is now over, wishing everyone the best in life.

The End.

I wish I wasn’t stupid

9 09 2015

I could have a better life had I not been stupid.

I am too stupid to hold a job, and get a good job. Too stupid to pass college, too stupid to understand people so I can have friends, and healthy relationships.

I am stupid and there is no way to change that. I have never been smart, it’s something you either have or you don’t have, your either smart of your not, there is no way to become smart if your born stupid.

Based on what people tell me, I am also too stupid:

To fix myself without professional help

Teach myself so I can have a career

To think of solutions to problems such as not having money for school and treatment.

I simply give up on trying, nothing else I can think of to fix myself, I have been trying for 20 years, I think if I haven’t figured it out by now, I am too stupid to do so.

I am too old now for a nice life and career, that ship sailed, and no career by 40, never going to have one.

Why do people hate me?

9 09 2015

It’s clear people hate me. I ask for help so I can access the treatment I need and no help.

When I ask for help because I am beyond what I can do on my own, I am told just to deal with it, and fix the problems by watching you tube.

If the answer was you tube. Then why do we have professionals who are trained and educated?

The only logical answer as to why nobody will help is because I am hated. If people liked me and didn’t hate me, I would not have to suffer is this emotional pain day after day.

I need help, I cannot fix this anymore then I could fix heart disease.

Worse and worse it get’s.

9 09 2015

I am getting worse little by little. I am just about ready to give up, I can’t do anything right, I am miserable, not happy, and not capable of having a quality life.

Rejected again….

5 09 2015

One of many examples of when a job I would love and be perfect for rejects me. I have 7 years in total experience in the airline industry, but can never seem to get even an interview for an airline job.

“Thank you for your interest in  (Company name redacted). At this time, we have considered many applicants and have completed a short list of candidates to be interviewed. We regret that we cannot interview all candidates and will be unable to consider your application for this position. Please continue to check (company website redacted) for ongoing employment opportunities.

Thanks again for your interest in (company name redacted) and best of luck in your job search.”

Success or not

5 09 2015

I think it’s time I just realize I don’t have what it takes to be successful in the work world.

I don’t have the right personality companies want, they have tests so people like me are weeded out.

I don’t  have the skills necessary for a modern world, and I can’t learn them without schooling, if I could, well there would be no issue.

I am just too old at this point to compete, the younger generation is more educated, better skilled, and so on.

I apply for jobs, and a week later that same place will post again, clearly I am not good enough.

Jobs I would love to do because they match my interests never call.

The only time I am hired is when they are desperate and just need a body and are not concerned about anything else.

home loans.

30 08 2015

Isn’t it funny how we can pay 850 a month for rent, but to own something and pay less the banks say we can’t afford it?

More people could potentially own their homes if banks were not so strict.

There is one place for sale in town, and a mortgage + taxes would be less per month then our rent.

Oh well.

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